Mental Health Moments: Being A Mom and CEO -- You CAN Do Both

⌛ By Kaylin R. Staten ⌛

One of my most favorite parts about the previous year (and it was a trying time for so many of us in various ways) was the birth of my son. Not to get too sentimental and mushy beyond reproach, but I have wanted to be a mom my entire life -- much like I have wanted to have a career that I am passionate about.

I am able to toggle back and forth between feeding my son and then hopping on a Webex meeting. Recently, I appeared live on one of our local news stations. When I returned home, Luke puked all over the front of my red dress. Not the most glamorous moment, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

No one could prepare for the challenge of being a mom AND Hourglass Media CEO. Of course, I read so many articles and heeded the advice of working moms before becoming a mom myself. That still cannot prepare you for the times you will spend crying while you feed your baby, wondering if you are doing the right thing by splitting your time. I am in constant limbo: I have an innate desire to work, create, and bring change in my role as a storyteller and business owner. Now, though, there is this little life that is my and my husband’s responsibility, and I honestly want to spend all of the time I can with him,

Approximately one in three women who own a small business are also moms. If you’re a mom or dad, you juggle a lot at home and in the workplace! The COVID-19 pandemic has changed motherhood, too. Many working moms have found themselves needing to stay home with their children. You serve as teachers thrust into a spotlight you never imagined you would need to do. Childcare outside of the home during a pandemic isn’t an option, especially when you have an infant. There isn’t enough time to work, much less take a breath.

At the end of the day, I want to show all working moms everywhere that you can do both -- no matter your circumstance. Here are some lessons I have learned over the past few months from a mental health standpoint. While I am currently still in the most imperfectly perfect stage of both motherhood and CEO-dom, I am learning new tactics every day! 

Here is what has helped me the most:

Prioritize your tasks.

I’m going to be honest, I have no idea how I filled my time before becoming a mom. What did I do all of the time? (I slept more, that’s for sure.) I was busy, but these days, I am a different brand of busy. All of us are busy in our own ways, and it’s vital to prioritize what matters the most to you personally and professionally. As a perfectionist, I tend to overachieve beyond my own humanly possible limits, and that ends up being a recipe for disaster. One of the most valuable -- and most challenging -- realizations I had last year was to let go of things that didn’t serve me or Hourglass Media. Whether it was pro-bono work or something that caused incredible anxiety, I began to start saying “no” to more things. You can say “no” with appreciation and kindness, but it’s important to be clear in your message. I have gained so much clarity with what I want in business and life. I can thank my favorite little five-month-old human for being able to better prioritize my time, energy, resources, and passions.

Done is good enough.

If I could fast forward to the present day as my 22-year-old self, I’m sure I would have my fair share of “mouth-agape” moments. This “done is good enough” mantra would not be in my vocabulary, even though I secretly wished I could have a more blasé view of life. While I am passionate about my work, I do not obsess about internal processes nearly as much as I used to. The action, of course, is what you should focus on. Planning is wonderful, and I love an hours-long creative brainstorming session way more than you know. But, planning without action is meaningless. I cannot tell you how much time I wasted on the plan and not carrying out the plan. There’s a time and place to be a strategist versus a tactician and vice versa. There is also a time to let out a sigh and then actually let it go instead of holding on to it. Time is a luxury, and when you have a shortage of it, you get creative. These days, my creativity manifests itself into the implementation. Mistakes or no mistakes, it’s all the same outcome for the most part. 

Plan when you can.

While the implementation is key, you can plan ahead to make your life a little bit easier. (Although there are times in which I feel like every moment is planned to the second.) Go to the grocery store and meal prep one day during the week. Even if you’re just cutting up vegetables for your dinner recipes, that will save you so much time after the workday is done. I still have a pretty good memory, but pro tip: write everything down. Have digital or paper to-do lists and color-coated calendars. And stick to a regular routine. Gone are the days that I can come and go as I please. It helps Mom, Dad, and baby to have a bedtime routine that includes turning down the lights, telling or reading a story, having a milk nightcap, playing some relaxing music, and spending some quiet time to relax (and hopefully fall asleep). There will be variations in your regular schedule, but if you stick to a routine, it will lead to your kid (hopefully) sleeping more through the night.

Take care of your basic needs.

You know, I have worked on so many client projects that give resources to parents. The communications ranged from project to project, but the overarching message was the same: you cannot take care of your child if you don’t take care of yourself first. I used to think that was selfish (and still do sometimes), but I cannot be the best mom and CEO I know I can be without taking into account sleep, proper eating habits, exercise, a work schedule, and other things that eliminate stress. Nothing stresses me out more than lack of sleep and feeling like I cannot work. The solution may not be your favorite answer to your most pressing issue. You may have to catch up on work on the weekends or weeknights and make impossible choices. For me, it’s sleep or writing. I choose to sleep a lot of the time because I am a person who literally cannot function on limited sleep for more than a  two-day span. While I am critical of myself because of this fact, it’s something I am learning to accept. And ask for help when you need it. Having my husband is an absolute godsend, and I couldn’t do what I do without him. Find your own brand of support, no matter if it comes in the form of a person or a childcare center. Do what works best for you and your family, without shame, regret, or worry. (I know -- easier said than done!)

And remember: being torn is normal. I want to be with my son when I am working. There are times in which I am taking care of him that I wish I could be finishing up a work project. You are still a wonderful mom and business owner. :) And you deserve to follow your dreams as a mom and CEO!

Please note: These blog posts are not clinical, although we will provide symptoms and other information. These posts are based on my experiences with anxiety and mental health in general. If you or someone you know needs help, visit a website like Mental Health America to learn more.

Mental Health Moments blog posts are every other Tuesday of the month. Our CEO and contributors highlight what it's like to live with a mental health disorder and continue to fight the stigma through storytelling.

Kaylin R. Staten, APR, is an award-winning, accredited public relations practitioner and writer based in Huntington, WV, with 18 years of professional communications experience. As CEO and founder of Hourglass Media, she uses her compassionate spirit and expertise to delve into the heart of clients’ stories. She is a recovering perfectionist, mental health advocate, wife, boy + cat mom, and Leia Organa aficionado. Connect with Kaylin on LinkedIn.