Mental Health Moments: The Art of Self Love
⌛By: Isabella Mershon⌛
One of the most challenging lessons I have learned is how important it is to love and value oneself. I have experienced times in my life where I was my biggest bully. I didn’t love who I was and my actions reinforced this internal struggle. I did not take care of my body, my mind, and my overall well-being. I was:
overeating or not eating enough
hiding in oversized clothing
sleeping all day but would still be tired
isolating myself from my friends and family
not performing to my full potential in school and at work
and other damaging behaviors
I felt alone but continued to push myself further away from the people I was closest to in life. I did not love myself, so I convinced myself that others did not want me around. I avoided cameras at all costs. Who I had become was an embarrassment to me, and I attempted to hide myself from the world. Through these struggles, I have learned that self-love is not a black-and-white concept. Self-love is not a destination that you reach but something that you have to work toward and practice each and every day.
The meaning of self-love was discussed in the article “Self-Love and What It Means,” which can be found on the website Brain & Behavior Research Foundation. The author of the article wrote: “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”
When I think of how I practice self-love, I think of the things I do that are good for my body, mind, and well-being. A big aspect of self-love for me is taking breaks from work and school to focus on myself and my needs. Some days I wake up and am already exhausted. My brain is foggy, and I struggle to focus on the tasks at hand. When this happens, I know my body and mind are needing a break. Some days self-love is taking an Epsom salt bath, other days it is spending quality time with my friends. Other ways that I practice self-love are cleaning my living space, burning a candle while listening to music, eating nutritious meals that fuel my body’s needs, working out to strengthen my body, journaling my thoughts, writing positive affirmations about myself, and more.
Every person has a unique idea of what self-love is and what it looks like in his or her life. Because of this, I asked several of my friends what self-love meant to them and how they practiced self-love in their life. Each answer was different and gave a different perspective. I compiled a list of the different answers each person gave.
Dance by yourself
One of my friends stated that when they dance alone, it helps them feel free and happy. Steezy Blog discusses how dance is beneficial to yourself in their article “7 Reasons Why EVERYONE Should Use Dance For Self-Care.” In the article, a quote that stood out to me was: “My body can be a vessel for art, beauty, and happiness — just as it is.” Check out the article to read more!
Set boundaries
Another friend explained that to them, setting boundaries and prioritizing their happiness and well-being over pleasing others was important. For me, setting boundaries can cause a lot of anxiety and guilt. If you struggle with this as well, suggestions on how to overcome the feelings that prevent people from setting boundaries can be found in the article “Personal Boundaries and Building Self-Love.”
Care for plants
Practicing self-love by caring for her plants was a way that another friend practiced self-love. They explained that when they put effort and energy into their plants, the plants reciprocate by growing and showing their beauty. According to the article “Have a Drink With Your Blooms, Because the Benefits of Spending Time With Plants Are Real” written by Mary Grace Garis, spending time with your plants is scientifically proven to increase productivity, impact compassion levels, and help benefit your mental health overall.
Surround yourself with positive people
Another friend says that when they surround themselves with positive people, these people help bring out the best version of themselves. I have experienced people in my life who did not empower me but, instead, belittled me. Being around them drained me, and I always felt worse about myself after being around them. Now I make a conscious effort to surround myself with people who make me happy. My friend and I like to think of friendships and relationships as batteries. If you are around someone and it feels like they are draining your battery, then you should evaluate this relationship. If you are around someone who makes you feel like they are recharging your battery and fulfilling you, then this is a good sign that this relationship is healthy.
Choose yourself
One friend suggested that it is important to choose better for oneself even when it is a difficult decision to make. This could be seen in relationships, a work environment, etc. This friend said that when they examine their life, cutting out any toxicity is a way they practice self-love. This goes along with the example above. If what you invest your time and effort into isn’t beneficial to your mental health and, instead, is toxic, you should consider choosing better for yourself and your mental well-being.
Be proud of yourself
Another friend said that it was important to be proud of your accomplishments no matter how big or small. Sometimes I find it difficult to be proud of myself and my accomplishments. Instead of giving myself credit, I focus on what I need to do to improve. In the article “How to Be Proud of Yourself (and Why It’s So Important)” written by Brianne Hogan, she discusses tactics to help people feel proud of themselves.
Be patient
A belief expressed by another friend is that self-love is something that one must work toward each day — it’s not something that one just has or achieves. She also said that it was the most important relationship to prioritize because you cannot rely on anyone loving you but should instead expect that love to come from within. Something I have learned is that when I am not happy with myself, I struggle to find happiness with other people. In the past, I have convinced myself that if I would achieve certain goals, it would make me happy. I found myself accomplishing tasks I had always dreamed of, but I still did not find fulfillment. Now I know that no amount of success can substitute for love and respect for myself.
Isabella Mershon is a third year communications student at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. She hopes that her drive along with her passion for leadership and advocacy will help promote success in her career and make a difference in the lives of those around her. Connect with her on LinkedIn!