Is The End of the Girlboss Era Nigh?
⌛ By Kaylin R. Staten ⌛
When I first started Hourglass Media, I will admit that I bought into the whole “Girlboss” way of life.
I dreamed of the hustle of working around the clock, always seeming ambitious, and calm and collected underneath the anxious mess of keeping up such a relenting pace. (Let’s be honest -- I still think this way most of the time.) I was 26 and eager to make my mark on the PR industry and my community. In my own rose-colored glasses kind of way, I thought I could change the world.
I read Sophia Amoruso’s book “Girlboss,” used Ban.do planners, and listened to so many podcasts saying that women can have it all. I read books and blog posts from influencers, and I listened to podcasts on the way home from my then-boyfriend/now-husband’s apartment.
I still believe that you can achieve whatever you want to achieve, but of course, there are limitations. We are recognizing and acknowledging our privileges, shortcomings, and other truths for the illusions they can become. Plus, as a human being, your focuses just shift over time.
In June, I realized that female CEOs are facing a mass reckoning. Some faced accusations of racism and toxic work cultures, while others walked away at the right time before COVID-19 ramifications could fully take their fortunes. Some examples of female leaders that have fallen from “grace” in 2020: Jen Gotch from Ban.do for racism remarks and a toxic work environment; Sophia Amoruso, due to COVID-19 downsizing Girlboss significantly, plus previous toxic work environment claims; Rachel Hollis for plagiarism, getting a divorce as a marriage “influencer”; Steph Korey of Away Luggage for a toxic work environment and being a social media loose cannon; and so many more.
This bothers me for so many reasons, some of which I can and cannot find the words to articulate. I have seen other female CEOs come to the defense of their female comrades, and while that is a noble gesture, we DO have to hold these CEOs accountable. I hold female AND male CEOs to what they portray to their target audiences. I don’t care who you are. If you aren’t walking the walk and talking the talk both personally and professionally, you should face public accountability. I am not here to shame anyone in the above list or in any examples laced throughout this blog post, but I want to showcase my take without preferential treatment.
First and foremost, you cannot run a multi-million-dollar company and be a loose cannon. You have to respect those who work for you, purchase your items, and support you in other ways. You cannot preach that you advocate for mental health, authenticity, diversity, inclusion, and other topics near and dear to your customer base if you don’t walk the walk. I can’t imagine being discriminated against or being the perpetrator of discrimination. My goal has always been to treat people equally and know that every person has something to add to a company — and life in general.
To revoke stories and not represent your entire customer base (and branch out to other groups) does an injustice to everyone. Yes, I am a white heterosexual woman, and I do not have the same experiences as someone more diverse than me. But, I can listen, learn, and emphasize with others’ narratives. What I strive to do is to create an environment in which everyone can be accepted and treated with the same levels of respect. I have always tried to put myself in others’ shoes in order to gain perspective. While this isn’t a perfect system, I still attempt to see things through others’ spheres of vision and mindsets. It helps me to not lose sight of how people deserve to be treated.
The toxic work environment piece also bothers me because I have experiences that shape my assessment of toxicity. I have worked in a toxic environment, where I have been the prey of gossip, judgment, and ridicule. While I am in no means perfect, looking back, I still did not deserve to be put through the ringer like that. So, I can empathize with the employees of these companies who had to deal with the mean-girl attitudes, lack of leadership from the C-Suite, and every part of the mental health anguish that accompanies that unfair level of stress. What did I do? I made my own company WHILE LISTENING to these toxic CEOs talk about their utopian businesses and lives.
On a more personal level, it has always bothered me that Sophia Amoruso fired four of her employees for becoming pregnant when she was still the CEO of Nasty Gal. As someone who is currently eight months pregnant and also prioritizing family along with my career, this is offensive to me. I now have more perspective, and this woman-on-woman discrimination is gross. I do hope she has learned from this mistake.
I realized recently that I don’t want to be labeled as part of that hustling Girlboss crowd anymore — if I ever really was part of it anyway. I consumed their content and purchased some of their items to gain clarity for my business and personal goals, but I never thought once about stepping on other people to get what I wanted. I don’t want to put on a public front about who I am and what I stand for without truly being that type of person.
What you see is what you get with me.
Consuming the entire Girlboss movement helped me gain more confidence in my abilities, grow my company, and provide mantras on the days that I didn’t want to hustle harder but made myself. But, the hustle isn’t sustainable and is honestly a season in life. While I continue to work hard, work isn’t the only thing I care about anymore.
Plus, I actually feel sorry for female (and male) CEOs who just want to hustle and work all of the time. I still struggle with this, as I love what I do. But, there is more to life than just increasing your bottom line and sphere of influence.
While I am still learning every single day, I want to be inclusive and diverse. I cannot imagine making fun of others. All of us have made mistakes, and I’m not writing this to profess my sainthood because I am far from it. But, I am a person who loves to travel and learn about new cultures while telling others’ stories, especially ones that differ from my own.
Some sources:
Please note: These blog posts are not clinical, although we will provide symptoms and other information. These posts are based on my experiences with anxiety and mental health in general. If you or someone you know needs help, visit a website like Mental Health America to learn more.
Mental Health Moments blog posts are every other Tuesday of the month. Our CEO and contributors highlight what it's like to live with a mental health disorder and continue to fight the stigma through storytelling.
Kaylin R. Staten, APR, is an award-winning, accredited public relations practitioner and writer based in Huntington, WV with 18 years of professional communications experience. As CEO and founder of Hourglass Media, she uses her compassionate spirit and expertise to delve into the heart of clients’ stories. She is a recovering perfectionist, mental health advocate, wife, Luke’s mom, cat mom, and Leia Organa aficionado. Connect with Kaylin on LinkedIn.