Leading With Empathy

⌛  By Kaylin R. Staten ⌛

We have learned more than ever in 2020 than empathy goes a long way in communications. 

You may have dealt with the ramifications of the COVID-19 pandemic, fallen prey to discrimination, haven’t been heard in times of great need, or have been persecuted on the Internet.

That is where empathy would have helped in even the smallest of capacities. 

In a blog post later this year, we will touch on empathy mapping and how you can use it to form your brand strategy and business goals.

This blog post will show you how leading with empathy can make your team and company stronger by adding a touch of compassion to your strategies. 

I really like how this author from Forbes describes empathy versus kindness:

“Empathy is a term that’s often thrown around carelessly these days, but Hassan has a firm grasp on its true definition: ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.’ And this, she points out, is very different from simply being kind. ‘I would love to unlink empathy and kindness,’ she says. ‘My entire career, people have linked my empathy and my kindness together and think, ‘Oh she must be too nice to do that.’ And then when they see me put my foot down on a certain issue because it demands it at that time, they’re surprised. Interestingly enough, whenever I’ve tried to be much more aggressive because that’s what gives you authority or respect, it just didn’t work. I’m much more effective in my authentic leadership style.’”

Here are three ways to add empathy to your leadership style:

Show people you care.

For me, empathy comes naturally. So much so that I have to rein it back because of its shortcomings, including being taken advantage of, not making decisions out of fear, and taking on too many other people’s emotional states and problems. But, having empathy is one of the strongest skills you can possess as a leader, specifically in times of crisis. Show those around you that you, too, are human through authenticity and action. A lot of times, those lower in the chain of command don’t see their bosses as someone they can relate to. This could be a preconceived notion in the workplace or be based on a specific situation or experience. While you have a lot on your plate as a leader, you have to show up for your employees. Partake in company-wide activities and conversations. Keep track of employees’ interests, help them work through weaknesses, compliment their strengths, maintain active communication channels, and more to help them feel vital to your company’s operations.

When a conflict arises, actively listen.

I know you have likely been in at least one situation when you have tried to communicate with your boss and he/she just won’t listen. This can happen for various reasons -- most of which have nothing to do with you -- but it can be especially frustrating in times of conflict. If you’re in a leadership position and you have to resolve a conflict between employees or between yourself and someone else, actively listen. Don’t just listen to respond. Listen to actually hear what the other person is saying by being present in the moment. Know that you may not see eye to eye, but respect your differences through compassion and grace. You may not like what the other person is saying, but listen to their side (unless it’s blatantly bigoted or toxic in any way). And keep it professional and not personal. It’s so challenging to separate the two, but

Use neutral language.

This may seem like a weird thing to say when talking about empathy, but hear me out. There is a time and place for passion, but when you are at the helm of a company, you can’t always use flaring emotions to communicate. You can be logical AND empathetic, however. In times of conflict and other situations, you want to be calm and collected (while you actively listen, like above). If someone says to you, “Why didn’t you get this done?” you can answer with, “I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated. I understand that you’re upset, but I would like to remedy this situation and talk more about.” Acknowledge the other person’s feelings without sacrificing your own. This shows that you care, even if you are seething inside. Addressing situations like this will garner more fruitful solutions and respect from those you come into contact with. 

Kaylin R. Staten, APR, is an award-winning, accredited public relations practitioner and writer based in Huntington, WV with 18 years of professional communications experience. As CEO and founder of Hourglass Media, she uses her compassionate spirit and expertise to delve into the heart of clients’ stories. She is a recovering perfectionist, mental health advocate, wife, Luke’s mom, cat mom, and Leia Organa aficionado. Connect with Kaylin on LinkedIn.